October 29, 2011

Early Marriage. WHY?

بِسْمِ اللَّـهِ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Salam and Happy Sunday!

WARNING : This post is intentionally for anyone who supports or wants to get married at young age especially IIUM students.Yes. Early Marriage.

Take note : Most of the IIUM students don't come from Islamic background. For them, coupling before married is a natural thing and they didn't know coupling before nikah is forbidden in Islam before admitting into IIUM.

After they admit into IIUM, they are exposed with the idea that coupling before nikah is forbidden and generally, they understand and know why it's forbidden. Then, they will replace coupling idea with the better idea that is allowed in Islam. Yess, it's a marriage or specifically early marriage.

Basically, they understand that early marriage provides many advantanges in spiritual, social, religious, academically aspects etc. In Islam, there are many hadith (Prophet's sayings) that highlight its advantage and it's recommended in Islam to get married. I don't want to point all those advantages out because I assume many of us know or heard about it. Maybe you can refer in ILuvIslam.com if you don't know.Don't get wrong idea, I fully support this early marriage idea.

Have you ever heard or meet the early young married couple have many problems after getting married for example, their academic performance is getting worse, social and financial problems or worst case scenario, they get divorced?

The main point is before getting married, some of them put the marriage solely as MAIN OBJECTIVE OF THEIR LIFE! I mean as an ABSOLUTE OBJECTIVE! Maybe, many of us didn't realize this because we are consumed with early marriage advantages plus the natural desire to have someone special to live together. (Both of these is not the bad thing, dont get me wrong). Subconciously, they put this as ABSOLUTE objective of their life. Yet, for me, this idea is completely WRONG. The ABSOLUTE OBJECTIVE in Islam is for HEREAFTER. For Allah s.w t.

Marriage is just one of the complementary thing to strengthen our effort and way to achieve true absolute objective.

The person that puts marriage as an absolute objective is analogically like a sprinter that MUST run 400 metres on track to get to the FINISH LINE but he puts the target at 100 metres only. He will run as fast as he can until 100 metres. Then, after 100 metres, he will burn out and assume he already win and race is end. Maybe he will stop and take a nap at 100 metres line while other sprinters run untill the true finish line.The truth is, he must make it to Finish Line that's 300 metres away to go. He's a loser. Geddit?

I guess the main point is I want to make sure you need to know why you want to do something. Even, you want to get married after graduating or while working, without realizing the true objective in marriage or prioritize what is more important, you will face many problems too.

I just want to point this out to make it clear my friend, MARRIAGE is a part of process in our life not true objective! That's all!

p/s: Tomorrow is Minitest. Please pray for me :))  

October 28, 2011

Age and Maturity.

بِسْمِ اللَّـهِ الرَّحْمَـٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Salam and should I say 'Hi' too? Long time no see eh?

Alhamdulillah, today is the day of NINTEEN YEARS I live in this complicated and interesting world. There's a lil bit confusion about my real birthday bcoz in FB, I put my bday on 28th October but,the real one is 29th October. Only some of my friends remember it well ! Yeah, it's today.haha. Nevermind, who cares and I don't care.. The difference is only ONE day.

Typical way to start the post with a question: Have you ever heard the older the people, more matured they are?

Ya, I know. Many people stick to this one "Old people is mature people". I agree old people have more experience than younger one but when it comes to maturity, I guess it's not suitable to say that.

Maturity is not about you have more experience than others. It's not about you know better than others. Maturity is all about how to deal with complicated knowledge and experience that you get in your life and come out with simple and thoughtful opinion that will change part of the world like politics or worldview.

Some old people have vast of experience in certain field but reject everything that is voiced out by young generation is considered as immature.

Mature people always hear other peoples' opinion first. They will not accept or reject others' opinion blindly. They will hear everthing and when it comes to discussion, they will point out the objective of the discussion clearly before start it. They will find the similarities between their opinion and opinion of another side instead of come to find the differences. They tend to reelevate their some parts of their opinion if others' opinion make sense in certain aspect.When it comes to end of discussion, they will accept the differences between their opinion and appreciate it like " Okay, this is my opinion and that's yours".

Reject other opinion and think "I'm always right!" is immature and lead to stupidity.

Every time I go back to my village, I always pretend to be an older people than my real age, for sure I did not tell my age. If I don't reveal it when discussing with older people, they tend, at least hear my opinion or accept it.

If you introduce yourself, " I'm nineTEEN-year-old and still study bla bla bla...", subconciusly, they will take your opinion lightly even though, it's clear your opinion is reasonable.

In FB, I intentionally hide my age and sometimes, older people tend to add me and discuss about many current issues without knowing my real age. For example, about BERSIH, HIMPUN, philosophy, politics, health issues, current world news etc. Maybe, my opinion sounds stupid or simple for them but at least you will hear their mature opinion and you can learn something.

Age doesn't represent maturity. So, don't be an arrogant people. When you feel you're smarter than others, you're considered as a STUPID person.

Then, always hear other opinion first even though it comes from a kid.You will find a diamond of knowledge.

ps: Pardon me if my english is horrible and have many grammatical mistakes. It's about..let see. 1,2,3 4 hmmm... 5 months I didn't blog at all or write something in English. :'D

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